It’s taken me until now to piece together the events of Friday.

I have some how managed to break or what ever my index finger and it’s strapped up, it’s so painful it keeps making me feel sick. I acted like a total animal and head butted and kneed a friend in the face and split her nose. I become so violent when I drink I worry. 3 bouncers took me to once side and held me down until I’d calmed down.

It scares me that I get this way
1) I ruined a girls face who is supposed to be my friend, not only her face but our friendship.
2) If the bouncers wanted to do anything to me they could have done.

If someone else had grabbed me and took me they could have taken me anywhere.

I there for am avoiding vodka. I don’t want to go out anymore and act like that. It was horrible and now everyone thinks I’m a total cow. She granted did attack me first but I just lost it and seriously hurt someone.
I don’t want to end up raped or beaten up for not being able to control my binge drinking.
There is nothing attractive about a girl who fights and is constantly wasted.

I can’t breathe, Tom Hardy is making me so excited I’m squealing like a freak.

He’s the most beautiful man in the world.

I think eating 4 bars of toffee crisps, 4 kitkat chunky’s, 2 Carmel eggs and a cup off toffee crisp sweets has broke me.
I’m addicted to chocolate, I crave it all day but I went a bit mental in the last few days. I also gained 5lbs in a week. My stomach feels like I ate a brick.

Detox from….. NOW.
(until saturday)